A Chi for Two® Story

Over my many years of doing dance/movement therapy and counseling, I have developed partner practices that I now call Chi for Two®- The Energetic Dance of Healthy Relationship. To give helping professionals an understanding of these partner practices, I am sharing stories from sessions with clients. I have changed some details to maintain confidentiality. 

This is the story of a session with Lenny.

Lenny came into our session saying, “I’ve been having a rough time—feeling a lot of anxiety.” I invited Lenny to possibly sit on the floor and when that seemed doable, we sat crossed-legged between the sofa and the armchair in my office.

I offered Lenny a cushion that made sitting on the floor more comfortable. More and more, we were moving to the floor during our sessions and Lenny had found a particular cushion that fostered comfort while revisiting this sit-on-the-floor body shape that invites infant developmental awareness.

For the first time in our work, I pulled out a large art pad and a basket of crayons. I reminded Lenny, “You know how the author of the book BodyStories says, ‘We have all of evolution in our bodies?’” Lenny looked expectantly at me.

“Starfish have one brain in the middle of their bodies. For starfish, what is our spine and Head-brain is just another arm or leg for a starfish. I invite you to imagine only having a Belly-brain and letting your belly-brain send a message out one arm, moving that arm toward a crayon.” I demonstrated.

“I invite you to let your Belly-brain reach your arm toward a crayon and then to put that crayon on the paper and let your Belly-brain move your arm around and see what shows up on the paper.” Again, I demonstrated.

Lenny said, “I like to draw houses,” grabbed a crayon and began to draw a house. I asked, “What does it feel like in the space between your Belly-brain and your hand?” Lenny moved with more awareness and said, “Actually, I don’t know if I like to draw houses, but I draw houses when I doodle.” Then, “I want to know myself better.”

I said, “When we push into what is not us, we find us,” and slowly, “I invite you to feel how your crayon pushes into the paper enough to make the marks it makes.” Lenny moved the crayon more slowly. I held both my hands in front of me like I was asking for a high five and said, “Now, I invite you to put the crayon down and move that push into my hands.”

Lenny moved the crayon a little faster as if considering my invitation, then quickly put the crayon down and pushed into my hands. I repeated, “Can you feel your Belly-brain? The harder we push, the more we can feel our center. Can you feel you?” Lenny pushed a little harder.

I said gently, “From what you’ve told me about your mother when your dad died…” Lenny’s hands dropped, and I slowly lowered my hands to my lap.

I continued gently, “…from how you have described that time when you were so little, I am pretty sure that if you had pushed into your mom at that time. It would have been like this.” I held up my hands to invite another push. Lenny tentatively pushed, and I provided no resistance—letting my hands float away behind me as I leaned backwards.” Lenny gasped, “Yes, I couldn’t push into her.”

I offered my hands again, “But we can do a re-do. We can help you become who you would have become had you been able to push into her.” Lenny pushed and said, “Yes, I feel what you’re saying...I feel me.” Tears appeared.

“What do you feel in your body now?” I asked.

“Sad.”

“Where in your body do you feel your sadness?”

“My heart.” Lenny’s hands quickly went one above and one below the heart.

“Can you feel your hands? They knew what to do. They went right to the part of you that was hurting. Can you invite your hands to feel your heart space under them? And your heart space, can you invite your heart space to feel your hands offering comfort for your sadness.”

Lenny nodded, and a deep breath naturally followed. A little rock forward and back began to happen in Lenny’s body, and I mirrored that movement, “Can you feel your body rocking a little. Rocking can be comforting, too.” Lenny nodded again and began looking around for the tissues.

I brought a tissue box close by and we began to discuss details of Lenny’s life. I doodled a bit as punctuation for things I was saying and as role-modeling. I was role-modeling my Belly-brain moving the body in concert with my Head-brain’s evaluations.

Throughout the session Lenny tentatively joined me in some drawing, experimenting with more random shapes than houses, at one point saying, “I can’t really draw but I like this color.” I responded, “You are finding what you like.”

Lenny smiled.

In future sessions we would identify Negative Self-talk as a defense to keep various types of movement in Shut-down — movement Lenny’s caregivers found overwhelming, but for this session the goal was met as, “I want to know myself better,” transformed into, “I like this color.”