Shifting Rumination into “Room-ination” - A Chi for Two® Story

A while back I wrote a blog about using Chi for Two practices with clients. I told the story of one client’s work. Here is a second story based on work with a different client. Again, I have changed details for confidentiality.

Jessie spoke of being tormented by anxious thoughts that felt like, “I gotta figure this out. Gotta figure this out.” I thought the practice we call Sway would be a helpful beginning, and invited Jessie to explore leaning toward one side and then toward the other side while seated in the chair.

Chi for Two practices invite mindfulness of how interactions with helping professionals offer a redo of infant/parent interactions that pattern nervous system functioning.

During the Sway practice, I talked about the fact that we humans pattern our nervous system functioning in infancy during our interactions with our parents as part of multigenerational patterning, “We do this swaying movement as part of our discovering how to sit alone.”

Jessie paused saying, “I really like hearing that my feelings are part of something greater than just me. “ I smiled a little and Jessie’s Sway began again. After a little time, what had started as a side-to-side Sway shifted into rocking front-to-back.

After a few front-to-back moves, Jessie stopped and took in a deep breath. I named, “That was a deep breath.” And after another moment, “Can you feel how the sensations in your body while you move are a dance with gravity…and…with oxygen—breath?” Jessie considered this question, explored side-to-side Sway again, and then slowly nodded.

“You also are dancing with my voice, my presence across the Zoom void,” I added. Again, Jessie nodded, continuing the side-to-side Sway.

I began to demonstrate the Chi for Two practice Snuggle Pose by crossing my arms so that my hands held my upper arms. “When we hold ourselves as we do Sway, we give ourselves a redo of being swaddled as babies.”

Jessie copied me, and I continued to demonstrate, “When we feel the holding, we can feel urges to squirm around like a larva in a cocoon—like a dog or cat readying a space to settle in for a nap.” Jessie started to squirm a little.

“When we add the holding—and squirming against the holding—it becomes the Chi for Two practice called Snuggle Pose. The squirmy move—the snuggling into swaddling movement—can create internal massage,” I said. Jessie nodded, squirming more intensely, eyes closing.

After Jessie squirmed a bit, I added, “We can feel the powerful connection of arms to core,” and, “You might want to push your back against the chair and let the backs of your legs push into the seat in a squirmy, snuggle-in sort of way.” Jessie snuggled into the support.

I further invited, “Snuggle Pose gives us a redo of swaddling—in which we feel our unique selves—and sometimes after Snuggle pose it is fun to drum.” Jessie’s eyes popped open and they looked bright.

I demonstrated the Chi for Two drumming practice, using both my hands as if I were a baby playfully banging on a highchair. I explained, “Babies enjoy this kind of drumming…banging both hands on their high chair… waiting for dinner…signaling I AM HERE. THIS IS ME.” I asked Jessie, “Can you bang on the desk in front of you?” Jess banged and after a bit, smiled a little smile.

Jessie and I had done the practice Push, so after that bit of playful banging, I asked Jessie, “Would you want to do Push now into the desk your computer is on, looking at my hands as I hold them up, so you can imagine being able to Push into me, like a child being able to Push into parents to feel its body, core-to-hands, core-to-feet, feet pushing into the ground?” Jessie pushed.

Push is a practice that really resonates with Jessie. Jessie had said how useful practicing Push into a wall was during the week as a way to express and process frustrations with family members, and managers at work.

Today Jessie said, “That whole series really shifted things. Wow. When I was doing that squirmy thing, I felt a real Whoosh, and then the banging and the Push felt great!” Jessie let out a little laugh.

“You could practice this series—Sway, Snuggle Pose, Drumming and Push when you find yourself ruminating over something,” I offered, “…use it as science experiment…let me know how it goes.”

“Yes,” Jessie said.

I laughed, “I am enjoying thinking about the word rumination as if it were r-o-o-m-ination, like making room for yourself. Room-ination.” “Yeah,” Jessie said, “This practice frees space. The Sway, the squirming and Drumming and Push. Yeah.”

“It allows a free flow of energy,” I offered, “a free flow of chi, life force, from Belly-brain to Head-brain and back and forth. Your poor Head-brain isn’t left on its own to figure things out.” “Yeah,” Jessie nodded. “I’m gonna practice this.”

Those were great words for me to hear—very validating of the potential of the Chi for Two practices coaches can do with clients for shifting how we live in our bodies.